Tag Archives: identity

discipleship, soul care, thankfulness

Lies We Hear in Our Heads and the Answers God Has for Them

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A couple months ago, I gave a seminar at a winter conference with this title. I was blown away by how many people came. I was expecting 40 at the most, and there were close to 120 in attendance! I was thinking if there were that many people at a conference who wanted these tools, perhaps there are still more people who do and I could share it through my blog post. In this post, we will look at some of the common lies we hear in our heads and I will offer some tools on how to combat them.

Do you want to know a secret? You know which tool is the best one to battle lies? The one you use! There are a lot of excellent resources on dealing with intrusive thoughts and lies. Not any one is the perfect answer to take it all away, as only Jesus himself is the answer. What I want to share with you are some tried and true tools I personally use and teach in this battle with our thoughts. It’s important to remember that this is a battle, and rarely a “one and done” deal. As you keep using the tools and learning to master them, you’ll continue to find more and more freedom from the onslaught of lies.

I’ve noticed that the lies we hear in our heads generally have to do with two areas. Either:

–        Our identity (I am a failure, I am worthless, I am not wanted, etc..)

–        Our circumstances (what if __________________)

Much of the time, the lies can be recognized by the negative feelings that come with them. One of my mentors shared with me that her mentor years ago told her “Discouragement is from the Devil”. As I’ve contemplated that, I agree. Satan is described in Scriptures as the father of lies (John 8:44) and he sets out to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) because he hates God’s image bearers. Satan is also a counterfeit fisherman. He knows which “bait” of lies to use to lure us into negative thinking. Just as a fisherman knows which bait to use for different kinds of fish, so also Satan uses different lies unique to us and our experiences.

Thankfully, we are not left alone. God has given us power and resources to fight off the lies from the enemy. I want to first share a few Scriptures to set the foundation about dealing with the lies in our heads. Then I’ll share with you a couple different tools to help make them practical.

Actions (Commands from Scripture):

Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Rom 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corin 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As we do these actions (commands from scripture) of: choosing to not be anxious, renewing our mind, taking thoughts captive, thinking about things that are true, right, pure, etc…, there are some results we are promised from Scripture. 

Results (Promises from Scripture):

Isa 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace
     those whose minds are steadfast,
     because they trust in you.

Phil 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

You may be asking, “how do I get there, to the “peace” promised in Scripture, a steadfast mind instead of one with swirling lies and the ensuing discouragement?” It starts with capturing the lies swirling in our thoughts and replacing it with truth.

An analogy that I find helpful is one of a mud mountain. As kids, did you ever make mud pies and mud mountains? Imagine that you build a large pile of mud into the biggest mountain you could muster and then pour water over the top and watch it run down. If you keep pouring water on it, it keeps going down those initial pathways, creating deeper and deeper ruts. If you want the water to go in a different direction, it’s not enough to just build a little dam in your dirt to stop it. The water will still go down that same rut and break through the dam you made.  The pattern of lies is like water going down a mountain of dirt. The more we think a certain way, the deeper the rut becomes. It’s not enough to build a dam by only stopping the thoughts. Our thoughts will build up behind it and eventually break through. We also need to redirect our thoughts. Just as we need to create a new path for the water to go down, we need a new path for our thoughts to go.  This is why we need to take thoughts captive, make them obedient, and renew them.

Here are three tools that I use often for myself and with the students and staff I disciple.

–        Truth/lie grid

–        What if to Even if

–        Thanksgiving

The first is the truth lie grid. This graphic isn’t the best in this blog post, but if you follow this link to a discipleship manual I put together, you can find it on page 87.

In the first column you will see listed some common lies we tend to believe. The second column Is the truth to believe instead, and the third column are some Scriptures to support that truth.  I recommend picking one lie from the first column to start with that you find consistently being thrown at you. Write down on a 3×5 card the corresponding truth statement and also write out one of the corresponding scripture verses. Begin memorizing that truth along with the scripture verse. Then after a few weeks, pick another lie to begin to replace with truth and memorize that statement and a corresponding scripture.

A second tool that I’ve found helpful is changing the “what if’s” to “even if, then God, because God is __________.”

“What if…”

“Even if ______________________, then God _______________________________  because God is __________________________.

Here are a few of the “what if’s” I’ve heard from college students recently and how they can be changed to “even if…”

What if I fail these two classes? Instead, even if I fail 2 of my classes, then God still has a plan for my education. Nothing I can do in success or failure can thwart his plans. He will work something else out and I can keep looking to Him instead of looking at my failures or trying to figure it out on my own. Because God is good, and can only be good.

What if I don’t have enough energy to get everything done. Even if I don’t have the energy to get all the things done, then God will provide what I need. Maybe it’s the energy, maybe it’s extra time, maybe it’s perspective that they don’t need to be done anyway. God knows all things and He knows what I need and He will provide it, because He is my provider.

Even if my family member won’t listen to reason, then God can get a hold of her heart and create repentance because God is the Creator, and can create something out of nothing, then I can trust Him to create a repentant heart where there is none.

Even if Republicans, even if Democrats, take control of the Senate, and they pass laws I disagree with, then God will still take care of me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. My security is in Him, not in a political party.

When we think about the “what if’s” we are thinking about things that are not currently true. They are things that “could be” true, but the Bible is clear: Phil 4:8 Think about whatever is true. What would the opposite of true be? False. Or Fantasy.

 I used to frequently have bad dreams, and shortly after my daughter was born the dreams were usually about some kind of harm coming to her. I had a choice at that moment, to entertain that thought, which I had been doing and then it would lay me flat in my emotions and ruin my morning, or even my day. Or I could declare it not true, declare the truth that right now, in that moment she was currently safe in her crib, and always safe in God’s hands and reject the thought. Once I had done enough “capturing those thoughts” the bad dreams ceased. And if they did sneak back in, I was super quick to capture the untrue thought and choose to believe the truth.

One other false or fantasy thought that Satan likes to use is speculation. It’s a big trigger for negative thinking! Whenever I speculate what I think a person is thinking of me, or even speculate a general “them” or “they”, I am not walking in truth. I am walking in a lie. Speculation gets us in trouble quickly because it’s false, it’s a lie. I cannot know what a person is thinking unless they have told me.

There’s even a “noble” speculation when we worry about someone else’s situation. I’ll worry about my mom, or my friends’ heartaches, and unless I talk to them, I don’t have a clear picture of what’s going on, or what God may already be up to in their lives. Typically, when I can talk to them and find out how they are really doing, the anxiety lessens because I am focusing on what is true and rejecting the speculation. Take captive the thoughts that are untrue, even if they “could be” true, and choose not to speculate.

A third tool: thanksgiving

In Phil 4:6, Paul says to present our requests to God with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is one of the quickest and easiest tools to use to capture thoughts and renew our minds. When I’m thankful, it brings me to the right here and right now. To what is true, pure, right, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, etc… When we are thankful, it awakens us to God’s presence and begins to replace the lies.

Keep practicing these tools. And you don’t have to do it alone. As useful as these tools are, sometimes we need help knowing how to use it. I am constantly dealing with lies. We all will deal with lies repeatedly this side of heaven. I can use these tools effectively, but sometimes the lies or the anxiety that comes with them can be overwhelming. It’s in those moments that I need a few hours or even days of talking and processing with God, often times with my mentor, as well as having people praying for me and with me until I could finally get to the “even if, then God.” I hope these tools are simple enough to understand, but I recognize they are not always easy to use. It takes practice to learn how to use any tool well, and lots and lots of practice to master a tool.

discipleship, God's plan

You Are Not Enough, and that’s a good thing

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A couple years ago while hosting a women’s retreat, we set out adult coloring pages that had encouraging words written with beautiful fonts and fleury backgrounds to color in. One of the pages touted “You are Enough”. It just didn’t sit well with me in the moment.

I’ve continued to see various memes of this sentiment, sometimes even scrolled with other truthful statements like “you are beautiful”, “you are worthy”. And this past summer, most of the world got to chuckle at the amusing “I am Kenough” from the Barbie movie. One of my friends shared with me that she drives by a church near her home that has “you are enough’ on their signage outside.

You are enough. I am enough. An easy motto to repeat over and over. I’ve even come across some catchy, empowering songs on Spotify with this title to get you motivated and hyped up, exclaiming: “this is my jam!”  And you know what? It IS helpful in moments. I can dig deep, pull through, and discover in some moments that I am enough, I had what it takes. That I had the courage to speak up; or the ability to bite my tongue. That I could study hard enough to pass the exam, or press on long enough to finish the project.

Did you know that if you repeat anything enough, whether it’s a truth or a lie, it becomes true to you?

These words seem so true, and they are everywhere, but are they really true? What happens though when reality hits hard, and reveals how not enough we are?

We don’t have enough energy to handle the people or situations in our lives
We don’t have enough intelligence or wisdom to know if we are making the right decision
We don’t have enough information, despite all the information the world can offer right at our fingertips
We don’t have enough patience, or control, or_________________ (fill in the blank)

We do have a lot, sometimes more than we realize, but what happens when we hit that limit? Where do we go?

The best place to go is to God and His word. God says we are a lot of things, but one of them that we are not, is enough.
You are not enough.

You are complete in Christ (Col. 2:10), you are loved (Rom. 5:8), you are known (1 Corin 13:12), you are assured all things work together for your good (Rom. 8:28), you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Phil 4:13), etc… But the fact that we are not enough, and the fact that we are any of these other things in Christ, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, unless we know who God is.

A book that has really helped me grasp the character of God is None Like Him by Jen Wilkin. The first character of God that Jen highlights is that God is infinite. She shares how we love to measure things as humans, it give us a sense of control and a level of comfort. When we measure something we can know it’s limit and what to do about it or with it. We can measure just about everything in our world. I love that! In college, I pursued a chemistry major along with a math minor and I continually enjoy that everything can be assigned a number: temperature (its 32 F outside and 80% chance of snow), time (its 10 am), distance (it’s about 1.2 miles from the campus to our house), membership (there are 18 relatives on my side of the family and around 250 relatives on my husband’s side). But have you ever considered that we cannot measure God?

Job 11:7-9: Can you find out the deep things of God?
Can you find out the limit to the Almighty?

There is no limit to Him, and therefore He cannot be measured.

Ps. 145:3 Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.

Unsearchable, which means He is unmeasureable.

Isa 40:12-13 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
    or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
    or weighed the mountains on the scales
    and the hills in a balance?
13 Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord,
    or instruct the Lord as his counselor?

As Jen writes, “put succinctly, who has measured everything? God has. Who has measured God? No one.”

If you think about, the concept of “Am I enough”, is a term of measurement. Have I measured up?

Jen goes on to write “Our whole lives as Christ-followers are to be given over to the identification and celebration of the limits God has ordained for us. He lovingly teaches them to us through his Word, through trials, through discipline. He humbles us through these means to remind us that we are not him, nor is anyone or anything else we know.”

Before I read this book, I was aware of several places I was limited. But after reading this book and looking at the character of God that she develops in this book, I realized there isn’t one single aspect of my life where I am NOT limited. God has placed limits on every single thing in our lives and in our created world, because only He is limitless, only He is self-sufficient, only He is enough.

If I were enough, I wouldn’t need a Savior. If you were enough, you wouldn’t need a Savior either. There is a danger in this phrase “I am enough” because it sets me up to be my own mini-god. I may as well exclaim “I am God.” I am effectively saying that I don’t need God because I am enough. Where it’s the opposite that is true, I need God because I am not enough. My limits are given to me by God so that I will go to Him, first for salvation and then to continue to go to Him, every day, to experience Him, to do life with Him! You are not enough and it’s a good, good thing, because it’s an invitation to come to God, again and again.

When you feel anxious or overwhelmed, those emotions are a warning indicator that you have reached a limit in your life. It’s similar to a warning light or beep in your car. You could ignore it and push through and risk your car falling apart, or you could take it in to a mechanic. We also can either try to push through and risk collapsing under the weight of anxiety, or we can go to God.

There’s a viral video on instagram I saw a while back that encouraged me greatly. I don’t know anything about her except that her name is Athena Avellanet.  It was a mic drop moment for me as I hadn’t made the connections before that she shared. She shares it better than I could, so please take a quick watch:

If you aren’t familiar with these stories, or even if you are, I encourage you to take a moment to look them up.

Exodus 4: 1-5

2 Kings 4:1-7

Mark 6:34-44

Moses had a staff
The woman had jars and a little bit of oil
The disciples had five loaves and two fish

The staff was not enough. The oil and jars were not enough. The five loaves and two fish were not enough. But… they were offered to God, and they became more than enough. 

God takes what we have, and He makes it more than enough.

What do you have? Or as Athena put it, “Whatchu got?”

Do you have time? Offer it to Him.

Do you have a desire for hospitality and a dorm room or a small apartment? Offer it to Him.

Do you have a heart that wants to see your friends come to Jesus? Offer it to Him.

Offer to Him what you got, and see what He can do with it. And keep doing it.

Even though I’ve been in ministry for a long time, and by now I have a lot of experience and skill, I still have to keep offering what I have back to God.

Two recentish stories:

One girl I disciple had a bad attitude that I knew I needed to address when we met for our 1×1 the next morning. Despite discipling women for over 25 years, I was really unsure on how to go about it. I prayed, but didn’t sense God giving me any kind of direction. I felt so limited, despite my experience. I offered myself to God, I offered my experience and wisdom, and waited on the Holy Spirit to guide me. When she showed up for our 1×1, she opened the conversation talking about her bad attitude, her struggle with trying to change it, and in that moment, I had a clear picture from the Holy Spirit on how to help her walk towards freedom in her attitude.

A few weeks later I met with a different girl who drained me completely that day. I had another 1×1 right afterwards. (I usually try to not schedule immediate 1×1’s back to back, but it was a reschedule due to holiday conflicts.) My next 1×1 showed up and I was struggling to engage her. My girl noticed and asked if I was okay, which I wasn’t, and then prayed for me. As she prayed, I felt the heaviness I felt for the first girl lift. That feeling of overwhelm was an indicator of my limitation. Despite all my skill and knowledge, I don’t have enough or know enough to help her. I struggled with that limitation, seeing her brokenness and wanting desperately to help her.

But only Jesus is fully enough, not me. As the saying goes, she needs a Savior and I’m not it. But what do I have? I have a heart that longs to help girls know and love God. I have years of experience and knowledge. It’s not enough, but I can offer it to God, and He can use it to minister to others. This was true for me way back when I first started discipling girls and it will be true if I get to keep discipling for another 25 years. Even when I first started discipling girls and I had no idea what I was doing, whenever I offered what little I had to Him, He showed up and I got to have a front row seat to God at work and be a part of it!

On a daily basis, I am met with how I am not enough to meet the tasks at hand.  I don’t have enough energy and time to keep up with two small children, take care of a house, and work in campus ministry. I can never get my to-do list done; some days I can’t even get it started! When I was in college, I struggled then with trying to get everything done. But usually my problem was putting way too much on my to-do list. I would be so productive at the start of the week, but by Wednesday I would run out of energy and then not be as productive by the end of the week. That constant in-my-face limitation kept drawing me back to God. Because I looked for a sense of worth/value in my accomplishments, I would subconsciously think “if I can get everything done, then I am valuable”. God made sure I couldn’t get everything done, despite how hard I tried, so I would come to Him to get my value and worth from Him and Him alone. Because He knows that accomplishments can never fully satisfy. Only He can satisfy my longing to know that I am valuable.

When we are frustrated with our limitations, and feel anxious or overwhelmed, is the answer to remind ourselves “you are enough”? I won’t deny it can help, hence the reason for it’s popularity. There is more we can do, can offer, can get through. We are more resilient and capable than we realize. HOWEVER, those thoughts can only help us to a point. There is a limit to how enough we can be. As Athena said in her video, we are not enough and that’s the point.

Thankfully there is an answer! We can:
* recognize our limitations as invitations to come to Jesus
* come to Him to know what He says about who we are in His Word
* come to Him know Who He is, and then it makes what He says about us actually matter.

Knowing God makes knowing what He says about us so much more than a fancy scrolled, feel good word on a pretty background. It makes it a fulfilling, life altering, sustaining word of truth.

A few reflection questions you can use if they would be helpful to you to ponder this further:

  • Where are you currently feeling frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed?
  • What limitation are those emotions indicating?
  • How might Jesus be inviting you to come to Him through your limitation?
  • Where is God in this? How is He enough, more than enough, to handle that limitation?
  • “Whatchu got” that you can give to Him?
discipleship, God's plan, identity

Limited on Purpose

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limited on purposeGod has limited us on purpose. Our culture tells us to “push the limits and break through” yet God has limited us on purpose. When we look to Jesus as the only Unlimited One, we can begin to accept our limitations as gifts, see 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

The idea that we are limited on purpose first came to my attention when I was in college. As teenagers and early 20 somethings we can tend to feel like nothing is unlimited so long as we work hard enough, or pursue it hard enough, or whatever. We are full of energy and idealism. And our culture feeds into that. Even a line from the movie, “Frozen”, feeds into it. Elsa sings in “Let it Go”:

“It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free”

It doesn’t take long until we come up against limits of all sorts. Each time I would get frustrated by them, thinking: “why don’t I have more time, more energy, more _____________.” Someone shared with me when I was in college that I am limited on purpose, because God is the only unlimited one. That’s stuck with me for the past 20 + years. It’s been a freeing, and a good, reminder that I am limited on purpose. It’s not that I’m failing; it’s that God has limited me….on purpose.

The more we look to God and His Limitlessness, the more free we are to accept and embrace our limits as a gift. The reason I usually don’t accept my limits is because I am looking to myself or to the World. When I do, I forget who God is, who I am, where my value lies, and I tend to take on responsibility that is not mine, and push the limits rather than live within them.

Some areas I am limited in

  • Wisdom
    Knowledge/Understanding
    Energy
    Motivation
    Love
    Time
    Length of life/age
    Responsibility
    Size
    Strength
    Sight (spiritual and physical)
    Mobility
    Perspective
    Importance/significance
    Power
    Worth
    Beauty
    Courage
    Safety/protection of self/family
    Luck
    Opportunities
    Communication
    Relational Capacity
    Thoughts/Thinking
    My ability to accept God’s love
    Holding on to God (which is why He holds on to us; Isa 41:10)

God has limited us on purpose. Why would He do that?

Yet there are limits we purposely set for ourselves.

A few limits I set for myself :

  • Sleep (go to bed, set an alarm)
    Eating (what and how much)
    Money (budgeting)
    Work (so I can see my family)
    Phone (app limits)

I balk against the limits in the first set because I feel like it lessens my value (because I am looking to them for my value).

Sometimes we can and should push past our perceived limits rather than settling or getting lazy. Sometimes I am more capable than I first think in various areas. I can take on more responsibility than I first thought I could, I can push and keep going despite low energy, but eventually all those have a limit too. However, if I’m pushing too hard past my limits, that’s when I get into trouble.

I don’t like the limits I set for myself either. Sometimes I want to sleep all day, or eat the yummy junk food, or buy the enticing thing on Amazon, or just scroll endlessly through Instagram. But the cost of doing any of those is far greater than the cost of the limit.

The good news is we are not the first to struggle with limits. Paul addressed it in a couple of his letters in the New Testament. (The following verses are all in the Message version as that’s the version of the Bible I’ve been reading this past year).

2 Corin 12:7-10 MSG
“Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

What can we notice in this passage?

  1. Why was Paul given the “gift” of a limitation?

God gave Paul a “gift” of a handicap to keep him constant touch with his limitations. He knew otherwise he could get a big head.

  1. How did Satan try to use it? What was the result?

Satan tried to use it to discourage him (how often am I discouraged by my limitations?). Instead, it pushed Paul to humility and to Jesus.

  1. Did Paul accept it right away?

No, at first he asked God to remove it, but God in His Wisdom and Love said “no”. He gave a different (better, albeit not the one desired) answer:

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

  1. Once God answered no, and gave His answer that His grace was enough, what was Paul’s response? What words do you see he used to describe his response:

glad, appreciate, taken in stride, with good cheer.

  1. Where was Paul’s focus?

He stopped focusing on the handicap and was able to appreciate it as a gift. Christ’s strength moved in on his weakness.

He joyfully took limitations in stride and let Christ take over.

  1. What were his other limitations?
    abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks

How could he be JOYFUL? That seems impossible. It is impossible in our own strength. However, God gives us the strength to joyfully endure.

 Col. 1:11-12 MSG
“We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”

2 Corin 13:9 MSG
“We don’t just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength, every triumph of the truth in you. We pray hard that it will all come together in your lives.”

How can the limitations be a gift? God began helping me really understand this last Spring during a DAWG (Day Away With God). I was feeling overwhelmed and very limited, and God showed me how He is already the answer. It’s all about knowing Him, like Paul did: focusing on Christ instead of our limitation.

Some aspects of Himself that God reminded me of that day to draw my focus to Him:

Jesus is the Answer

Jesus is the entire Story, the Alpha and Omega. I only have a part of the Story. Oftentimes, I feel like I am responsible for the world. If I don’t accept the limit of my part in the Story, then I am striving in vain, and I will miss the significance of the part I get to play in His Story. Revelation 22:13, Hebrews 12:2, Ps 127:1.

Jesus is my Defense. I can work and work to defend myself before others and before God, but I don’t even have to. The pressure is off, because He took all my sin and He is my Defense. Isa 12:2, 1 John 1:9

Jesus is my Rest. The world says “keep working, produce!” Jesus says “come to Me. I am never in a hurry. I hold all things together and make all things come together.” Matt 11:28, Rom 8:28

Jesus is Wisdom. We can easily be overwhelmed by the world’s problems. But He has overcome the world. He is the answer. He’ll share with me the answers as I need them and as I look to him. 1 Corinthians 1:24, John 16:33

Jesus is the Almighty. Rev 1:8, 5:12. He is Unlimited in Power, Unlimited in Importance, He Alone is Worthy.

I have value, I have worth, I have importance, and I have significance. But I am not unlimited in my importance, I am not unlimited in my worth, I am not unlimited in my value. I am not enough, and that is freeing because I don’t have to be! There is one who is already enough, and his name is Jesus.

What about you and your world?

Is there a limitation you are currently frustrated you have? How are you doing at trusting God with it? It’s okay to ask Him to remove it, but if you have and it’s one He’s giving you on purpose, then I encourage you to begin the journey of accepting it and using it to see Him more clearly. Spend some time starting that process by asking yourself the following questions:

– What is/are the limitation(s). Clearly identify them.
– Why do you not want it? What do you want? (This can take time to explore.
I’ve noticed it usually comes down to wanting myself glorified or comfortable.)
– How can your limitation point you to Jesus’ Limitlessness?
– How do you need to trust Him with your limit?

One example I’ll share is being limited in energy. In my 20’s I would push hard to accomplish the tasks I had, but would then crash for the next day or two. I was jealous of the people I compared myself to who could get away with 4-6 hours of sleep and seem like they could get so much done. I functioned best if I got around 9 hours of sleep. I felt like I had to do as much as I thought they were doing. So I would push hard to meet with people in 1×1’s, Bible studies and other meetings, accomplish all the tasks, to-do’s and prep work I had, but then I would crash for a few days as soon as I let myself pause. A few years into this pattern, those crash periods developed into accompanying migraines, and those really took me out. When I became a mom I had to seriously evaluate my tendency to push hard to get through. I no longer had recovery time during a crash, a baby still needs you whether you have a migraine or not.

God has slowly been getting this limit concept through to me over the years. During the moments I started to accept my limits, I saw Jesus show up. The first time in a significant way was in my mid-20’s during nearly an entire school year of deep depression. It was my 4th year of full time ministry, and I was barely functional; only operating in survival mode. God used it heal some brokenness I didn’t even know was there, and I saw His care for me in support raising, as I couldn’t do that either. It was the first time I really began to grasp He really has everything under control and none of it is up to me. I’m invited to be part of the Story.

It’s still a struggle though! Now that I’m a mom, I’m still learning to cut back on so many things. I still struggle with feeling not enough, but that’s usually because I am looking at all the tasks left undone, even untouched, and not looking to Jesus and what He’s done through me. I’m learning to accept my limits; to trust Him with the things that are undone. Trusting He will provide for them to get done, or provide His perspective they are a task that He doesn’t actually have for me to do. I don’t have to be enough because He is enough.

I still get frustrated by my limit of energy

– Because I feel like I should have more (I don’t readily recognize there is a limit to my energy, like I do the limit of time)

– Because sometimes I can push through despite low energy, and I look to myself for that ability rather than to God. Sometimes God will provide extra energy and I want Him to all the time (not just occasionally).

– Because I feel like I am valuable if I can produce and contribute, rather than believing I am already valuable because I am God’s daughter. I am looking to myself for worth rather than to God for my worth. Even if I can push through the low energy and produce a lot, the sense of value and worth is short lived, because new tasks arise and once again I am behind. But in Christ, my worth never changes because it’s based on Him.

As I accept my limit of energy, I can look to Him who is limitless rather than looking at myself. Maybe He will take the low energy away for a moment and supernaturally provide for me to accomplish a task. He’s done that before. That’s not usually the case. He wants me to accept my limit, because it draws my focus to Him. I look to Him for my worth, not my accomplishments. I look to Him for what He wants me to do, rather than myself because the ideas in my head and on my to-do lists are always greater than I can possibly achieve. I need to set aside all my good plans in order to focus on the great plans He has for me to do. And by accepting my limit, I will come to Him for rest, renewal, perspective, vision, relationship. If I had unlimited energy (like I wish I had), I doubt I would stop, or I would very rarely. The low energy causes me to stop regularly.

Looking back to the questions, here’s how I answered them:

–           What is/are the limitation(s): low energy
–           Why do you not want it? What are you wanting? I want unlimited energy so I can accomplish all the things and be valuable
–           How can your limitation point you to Jesus’ Limitlessness? I recognize it’s not up to me but up to Him and my limit can draw me to look to Him instead of myself.
–           How do you need to trust Him with your limit? I will look to Him for my value, and what He wants me to do instead of trusting myself.

I encourage you to give yourself time and space to really reflect on these questions. It took me awhile to summarize the answers to those questions. Please comment below or email me if you have any comments or questions. This is all still in development and I would love help refining it.

One person asked how communication is a God-given limit with all the advances in technology. Here are some thoughts how this applies to communication.

Even with all the advances of technology in communication, there will always be a limit. Even when we speak the same language and see each other daily, there are limits in communication. I think of a marriage relationship, or a discipleship relationship. Sometimes you think something has been communicated well, and the other person just doesn’t get it. I can work and work and work to try to make sure the other person understands what I’m saying, but sometimes they just don’t. In those moments, it’s a God-given limit and I can choose to seek Him and ask Him to remove the communication barrier. Sometimes He will. Sometimes, He wants me to trust Him and to be praying for that person to understand rather than talking at them. As I look to God rather than my communication efforts, I get a chance to see how He can break through any communication barriers that exist. He really is the only Unlimited One.

For another perspective on this topic of limits, I appreciated John Piper’s short article on how he accepted a God-given limit and used it for God’s glory.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dont-waste-your-weaknesses

 

discipleship, identity

A Daughter of a King

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daughter of a kingWhat does it mean to be a daughter of a king? What does it mean to be the Daughter of THE King? Some of us have distorted views of God as Father because of our experiences with our earthly ones. Even the best fathers aren’t perfect. And the enemy of our souls takes the hurt we experienced and runs with it to destroy our view of and our relationship with our perfect Heavenly Father. Thankfully, God gives us so much truth in Scripture that we can cling to instead of our experiences.

I encourage you to allow God to change your view of Him to who He truly is and how He truly sees you, His Daughter. It takes time to renew our minds with truth, but as you do, you will see and love God more than you ever thought imaginable!

We spent some time doing just that during one of our Women’s Bible Study, and here are some of our discoveries.

You are a Princess! God is the King of Kings and he chose you to adopt you as His Daughter. And He WANTED to! He was pleased to! There is no sense of obligation here. He’s not feeling obligated to be your father and to do fatherly duties, He wants to be your father. And you have a great inheritance as a Daughter of the King.

For at just the right time Christ will be revealed from heaven by the blessed and only almighty God, the King of all kings and Lord of all lords. 1 Tim 6:15

 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. Eph 1:4

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32

 

You are lavished on like a beloved Princess should be. Our heavenly Father doesn’t hold back His love, attention, or gifts. He gives you good and perfect gifts; He gives you everything you need for your enjoyment! You are provided for with the best care. There is never a shortage of resources.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. Eph. 1:7-8

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Ps. 84:11

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 1 Tim 6:17

For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Ps. 92:4

For every wild animal in the forest belongs to me, as well as the cattle that graze on a thousand hills. Ps 50:10

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary,     and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isa. 40:29-31

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matt. 11:28-30 (MSG)

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 (ESV)

“My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10 (NLT)

 

You never need to be afraid of bothering your Father, the King. You can always approach His Throne with confidence. You can come to Him with anything and He is always available to you to give you His full attention. He is never distracted by anything else. He never grows weary of you. He loves you! You can talk to Him about anything, and you never need to fear asking for things, or even wanting things. You can count on Him, He is dependable. He comforts you when you are distressed, and wraps you in His loving arms.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Heb 4:16

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Phil. 4:6-7 (MSG)

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary,   and his understanding no one can fathom. Isa. 40:28

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isa. 40:11

 

A lot of time, care, thought and planning has gone into your upbringing as a Princess. You have a purpose for your life. You are a significant woman.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph 2:10

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jer 29:11 (MSG)

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Ps 139:16

 

You aren’t just a “trophy child,” a “feather in His cap.” He never ignores you. He knows you! He knows you even better than you know yourself (He even knows how many hairs are on your head). Plus, you are invited to join along with what your Father the King is working on. You get to work with Him! And He wants you to know Him as well.

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matt. 10:30

But if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Corin. 8:3

For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building. 1 Corin 3:9

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3

 

He is always with you! Always! He will never leave you. He will never forget you. He won’t leave you alone to face your fears, instead He is right there by your side.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you; Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isa. 41:10

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matt. 28:20

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Ps. 139:7-12

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Ps 27:10

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands!” Isa 49:15-16

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isa 46:4

 

You are valuable to God. So valuable in fact, that he paid your ransom to get you back with Christ’s blood, not just mere gold and silver. Gold and Silver aren’t valuable enough. You are so much more valuable!

For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but he has now revealed him to you in these last days. 1 Pet. 1:18-20

How much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Matt 12:12

So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matt. 10:31

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. Isa 43:1

 

He watches over you and valiantly fights for you with a King’s fury! He is never passive.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—     where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord,     the Maker of heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot slip—     he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel     will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The Lord watches over you—     the Lord is your shade at your right hand;  the sun will not harm you by day,     nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—     he will watch over your life;  the Lord will watch over your coming and going     both now and forevermore. Ps. 121

But the LORD says, “The captives of warriors will be released, and the plunder of tyrants will be retrieved. For I will fight those who fight you, and I will save your children.” Isa 49:25

 

He forgives you! He doesn’t hold your mistakes over you. In fact, He forgets them!

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col. 3:13

As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Ps 103:12

Love keeps no record of wrongs 1 Corin 13:4