Last week I could feel my spirit just dragging. Life had been busy, time with God had been shortened, and I was keenly feeling the effects of not having quality time with my Savior. I knew I needed to get away to the Mountains for at least a couple hours to just sit and be still. My mom was up visiting, so she hung out with Aurora while I took off to the Hills.
I found a spot off a dirt road, parked the jeep, grabbed my blanket, glanced around at the ground and dropped my blanket and settled in. Now, when I picked my spot, I noticed the bigger “beauty” and “danger”. The spot was shaded, full of greenery, with a few flowers. It also had a thorny wild rose bush that I was careful to avoid putting my blanket near. I was sad my spot wasn’t near water, as I really enjoy the sound of waterfalls and creeks. But the waterfall area was crawling with tourists, and not the place to be alone to think.
As I sat in my spot and practiced being still, I started to notice more “beauty” as well as more “danger”. At first I had only noticed a few bugs flying around me. But after 3o-45 minutes, I noticed they were everywhere, and the longer I sat, the more I noticed (and swatted). I also noticed a big ol’ spider web in the thorny rose bush next to my blanket, as well as a watery cocoon. (I’m not a fan of insects, so these are “danger” to me). But I also started to notice more beauty. A few rose buds on the bush I hadn’t noticed. Some white flowers tucked into the greenery below. Sunlight filtering through the trees. And then, after an hour of sitting and being still, I heard the sound of rushing water!
And God had an analogy for me in all of this. In my rushed state when I first picked my spot, I only noticed the immediate and large “beauty” and “danger”. If I’m not still in my spirit, I will only notice the larger beauty and danger to my soul. I will miss the smaller blessings (beauty) from God, and may even come to the point where I doubt His love and goodness towards me because I can’t see the smaller, more intimate ways He’s showing His love towards me. I will also miss the subtle dangers to my spirit, and it seems that’s where the enemy likes to work best. When I first sat down, I only noticed a few bugs, but the longer I sat, I noticed the small ones. Unless I am still before God, I won’t notice the small “gnats” eating away at my spirit.
In the moments of being still, God can reveal to me the dangers to my soul that I’m not noticing. Like when I’m prizing efficiency over loving people. Or trying to pursue rest via my own efforts of control. I find myself thinking “if only I could clean & organize my house, my schedule, my thoughts… then I’ll find rest/peace.” Sure, cleaning and organizing will provide a sense of rest, but it will be temporary, and not the true rest my soul is desperate for. That kind of rest can only come from being still in God’s presence.
It’s takes a peaceful spirit to see God’s intimate and personal ways of loving us. It takes a peaceful spirit to be teachable and humble to God revealing where we are slipping into sin. We might think we’re okay, because we are catching the bigger danger and beauty, but the smaller ones may matter more.
I encourage you to find some time to be still. Regular time. It doesn’t have to be up in the mountains, that’s just where I connect best with God. When we spent some time doing this during our women’s bible study, each girl picked a room in the house, or a spot in the yard, to spend 30 minutes being still with God. One girl received a lot of personal encouragement from God by seeing Moby Dick on my bookshelf and perusing through it. I don’t get it, but God knew she would! Because He is that personal in His love for us!
If you need some help letting God show you the smaller dangers to your spirit, I thought this blog post was pretty right on: 9 Sins the Church Is Surprisingly OK With as Long as You Love Jesus.